I am desperate to try and be better everyday of my life. I seek to be kind and grateful and hopeful all in an effort to be the best version of myself that is possible. But daily I lack bravery and fear is something that is a constant struggle. It is a challenge I must fix in my mind that if I want to be the best me, one thing I need to be is brave. When the beautiful woman I am out with is dancing I need to dance. Whether or not I will look foolish or she will be embarrassed by my flailing I need to do it. I need to not stand back convincing myself that I will be rejected and it will be humiliating. When we leave in the cab on the way home, and I want to put my arm around her waist, pull her in and gently kiss her while we talk with the driver. It might mean climbing up over an immense wall of fear in my brain, accepting that the other side might be the long hard fall of rejection. Occasionally however it could also be the reward of the touch of soft skin and salty kisses, and the gentle pleasure of sharing the warmth between two people who have danced and sang their way through the evening into the night, landing softly in the early morning hours. It is hard to know which regret will be heavier to carry… The regret of trying and suffering through the likely rejection or the regret of not finding out that there was no rejection to fall headlong into. I want to be brave, I want to take a risk that will scare me, I want to be alive in those moments. I want to take that step into the unknown.